[ In the morning]
I don’t feel good today. I’m just feeling a bit “off.” I cannot describe it, really. Yet it seems that I have more and more days like today. No or little energy. Today is May 17, but the date doesn’t really matter. I need to keep active and I am going to try to walk later. .2 miles is about as far as I can go now. The doctors really want me walking a mile. At one time, I would have laughed and said, “Nothing to it, Doctor.” Well, times change and a mile seems forever. One of my hips starts hurting which makes my back muscles ache which makes my other hip ache which makes my calves ache which lengthens the list of excuses. Excuses that make it hard and painful to walk that make me not want to walk.
Still, I’m somehow going to get a walk in. I’ve been working on building up endurance, which is hard to do these days. I got a unit of blood yesterday, but it doesn’t seem to have boosted my energy levels. That little boost in hemoglobin usually helps. Not today.
[Later in the day]
Well, I am back from the walk. Surprisingly, the hips weren’t the first to hurt. The back muscles tightened up about 1/3 into the walk I had planned. Frequent rests to let the back muscles loosen up helped. Taking some Tramadol before walking might have helped with the hip pain. I’m experimenting with Tylenol and Tramadol to see how far ahead of walking I need to take pain medications and, whether they help or not. I can’t take anti-inflammatories like Aleve or Ibuprofen or aspirin. I don’t need any drug that could get me bleeding because of my low platelet counts. The doctors are also trying to arrange an appointment with a physical or occupational therapist to see if they can figure out a way to reduce my aches.
Do you know how short .2 of a mile is? It’s just a little over 1000 feet. That’s nothing. Not long ago, I didn’t even give it a thought. I just got up and walked whenever and wherever I wanted. I didn’t really care for walking around the subdivision where I live. I would rather go somewhere where there is a trail or path. Right now, I would be thrilled to walk more than the .2 miles in the subdivision.
I sometimes wonder if I am just getting weaker and weaker. I keep telling myself that everything will get better after the stem cell transplant. Then, I wonder if I ever will get the transplant. Staying optimistic is hard work.
I started writing this post this morning. I didn’t know what I was going to say then. I think it was partly a way to get me moving, out and walking. Well, it did work. It got me to walk my measly .2 miles. Tomorrow? .3 miles?